When different is more

The pains in her stomach, it’s time to go. She is going to meet her son. The tiring push after push followed with the pain, oh the exhaustion of giving birth. Last push….he was finally here! Her Lorenzo made it to the world! When she held her sweet new baby to her chest, looked down at him, she smiled, and she knew right then. She looked into his sweet, beautiful brown eyes… She knew he was not like the majority of other children in the world, he was special, he was her precious gift. A gift for a mother deserving and perfect for the task given her, before she even knew it.

      Scared and in love all at the same time. Oh how she was yet to discover her true potential and her strength but soon she would. You see he was her gift in life, and she was his. The doctors come to confirm what she already knew, the signs leading them to believe her son has down syndrome…47 instead of 46. The many things that ran through her head that night making it impossible to sleep. She knew Vic would love him, she knew his cousins and aunties would love him. She knew that things weren’t going to be easy, they weren’t going to be typical. However, she also knew how loved Lorenzo was already, and Down syndrome wasn’t going to take him from them. She feared his health issues might! She needed to make sure those things weren’t going to happen. That she had them all taken care of. Those things scared her, terrified her for her family.

    When he was born, his blood was too thick, his heart was too weak, his body working too hard to even allow him to eat. He only sucked three times when she tried to breastfeed him. Those three little sucks meant the world to her. The time would pass and it would soon be a week before she even got to try again, and succeed.

        It’s hard at first, but it’s real. We all have feelings about things. We live them daily, we breathe them with every breath, we go through them, and soon they dissolve into completely different and new feelings. She loves him, she will learn all she can and make a way. His gift to her already beginning to set in. I will never forget the day. I was honored to meet him and hold him in my arms so small and fragile but full of life, with hungry eyes. It was the day I personally witnessed an enormous gift from such a tiny beautiful little boy, given to my friend, his mother. She had been forever changed by his life and it showed. It was a beautiful sight to see.  

    The time has come for surgery, she knew these days would come, she has researched so much in the time passed and knows what to expect. It was already known by her that Renz was born with a heart defect that often requires surgery in early infancy. She already knew something was wrong and when surgery was confirmed, it was a huge feeling of relief and anticipation, even excitement. Her excited thoughts of “MY baby is going to be less sick, he is going to struggle less!”.

       Then the moment came…the moment she had to actually leave him in the care of the doctors.  At that point she was afraid, she did not want him without her for this. So afraid that they would not know how special he was to her and her son, and how so very loved he was by them. How much they needed him in their lives. The fearful thoughts rushed in her mind “ Would they would treat him like just a body, a number and not a boy?  Would something go wrong in there because of this? Am I ever going to see him smile his wonderfully fulfilling smile at me again?”. She calmed her thoughts and her heart…another gift from her son.  He came out of surgery okay. He is such a strong boy, went through recovery like a champ, his strength is undeniable.

         Every morning she wakes up and the first thing on her mind is her sons. She goes to them ready for the day to begin, with all its challenges it holds, all the mountains that have to be climbed and the others that must be moved… it’s still a beautiful day to her. Every moment she is making sure her children know love, honesty, respect and kindness. A woman that is also fierce and will take on anyone that challenges her son’s abilities. She walks with so much grace, you would NEVER see the weight on her shoulders unless she told you. She has evolved over the time since her son was born, a butterfly was born in all its grace and beauty.

      You see her challenges are beyond the normal challenges of a mother. One son that the world considers normal, and another son that the world considers different. The endless appointments and therapies. The balancing of both her sons and time spent with each.

     Trying to ensure her oldest has his moments to be himself and enjoy a life of a young child, while still being sure he knows his responsibility to his brother and embraces it. What a heavy balance to ensure one misstep can send rejection of the life spiraling in. Yet again she does this with grace as if it is effortless to accomplish, not even thinking of the challenge at hand here. Balancing one son that needs more than the other. She does this well…another beautiful gift from her Renz.

   To her, she has a job to do and it’s all that matters to her, not your pity she doesn’t need it, not your false sense of understanding she doesn’t care for it, not your approval of her child and lifestyle she doesn’t need you. They have their own secret little family in their home and if you’re worthy she will let you be a part of it. You see she is made of strength, dedication, love, understanding, and kindness. Nothing else. A beautiful gift from her son on the day he was born, seeded there to grow before she even knew it.

   What I see in my friend is a decision to keep moving forward, when so many didn’t. An astounding 75 percent terminate from blood test results alone during pregnancies. In her you will see determination to make changes in the world for the better. Like in 1990 for educational rights for the disabled… the same fiery passion lives in her. I see a mother that advocates for her son in every moment. I see a mother being her son’s voice, she is loud, and she will be heard. She is a testament of true strength and selflessness. I see a mother who is her biggest critic, but is perfect in every way for her son’s. I see my friend giving purpose and value to two lives that are so different in the world’s settings at the same exact time with each other.

Every mother worries about their children, we wonder who they will become, what can we do better to make sure they grow up and make good choices… As much as we like to believe we can protect them from disease or a cruel world unwilling to accept them, the basic truth is, we can’t.

   When I get to join their family, and we plan time together. I enjoy every moment I take it in, they are fleeting and won’t last long. I see the beautiful tiny boy I once held so much older now. He has a smile that can melt any worry away and make you forget every problem. Nothing but being happy seems important when you are around Renz it’s a beautiful gift he has for the world. I watch a little boy play with such life inside him doing things so many say can’t be done. I listen to his mother speak of the milestones he has passed before he even should have with a happy heart, because he is perfection in all the most beautiful ways.

  I watch his brother watch over him and play at the same time with such ease like he was born for this specific brother. The way they tie into each other complementing each other in every sense with every motion. It’s a harmonious balance between them. What Renz has given to them with his life is probably more than any 46 human in today’s world could ever give over an entire lifetime to another human being. Yet here is this young man doing it since birth so effortlessly. He gives even to those he meets in spirits and happiness. Oh the day he was born she didn’t know it yet…but he had a gift for her. She needed him, and he needed her.

**Credits To Lia Castro for allowing me to write this piece about her family and contributing to the story.**

Dancing with Devils

Dancing with Devils

Opiate control

Introduction

I am not writing this to sway others into believing differently than they do about addiction. I personally do not care what you do or do not believe about it or if you have read the science behind it or not. I am writing this however, for the many battling this addiction or who have went through it. I hope it gives insight, I hope it reaches someone maybe even saves a life.

Addiction

Yes it is the addict’s choice to try the drug for the first time. This is correct in every aspect of looking at the situation. Let’s be honest here though for a moment. Who knows they will become an addict? What person knew when they were prescribed something from a doctor that this would be it for them that it would be the moment their brain clicked into desires so strong. Who really knows while out with friends and deciding to cave to peer pressure in our youth that it would be the moment of reckoning right there? That one moment when the entire world felt okay and made sense, that moment when you knew you could do more on something than off. That moment you looked in that mirror after so long of struggling with self esteem and just loved yourself so much. That moment the pains of your life all of a sudden just weren’t so painful anymore. Who really knows you were the one genetically picked for this moment until it happens?

Then you’re there. You say oh I’ll stop after this, one more day to get through this, it doesn’t end it keeps driving you. You think the drug is your friend helping you through life. For a moment it does. For a moment everything is right. During those moments is when the opiates are wrapping into your brain changing your chemistry, the very fabrics of your mind. Teasing the addict making them think everything is so much better. You wake up with energy and happiness, no one notices this part of addiction, others see a happy improved person and compliment you on your life changes and how happy you seem and look…sealing the belief this is right, it’s exactly what you needed to make your life right…meanwhile the opiates are penetrating and invading your brain like a parasite.

The turn

While you thought life was grand and you weren’t hurting anyone, this is great…opiates were going throughout your brain chemistry and altering every aspect. Depleting you of your natural ability to be happy. You need me now don’t you? They turn on you then in that moment of completion. A victory for the devil himself, and a war for anyone opposing it now…settle down you sold your soul. Now you become irritable what worked isn’t working is it? You need more that will do it just get more. If you do that it will all be okay again won’t it? Depression begins you start to hate yourself, boy do they turn on you. But you need me now. You can’t live without me now…you sold your soul didn’t you? You are one now, inseparable and at the mercy of it’s strength.

The realization

You get more and more but it’s never enough. You are your biggest critic right now. Everyone sees the changes they see your body, they see you attitude, they hear your excuses. They are judging you and you know it. You’re scared inside. How did you let this happen? How could you be so weak? How can you ask for help from all of those that are judging you. You try to quit on your own. It’s painful, it’s painful in ways many can not imagine. A war between the body and mind inside you. A violent one! You are sick you can’t sleep you shake and you hurt…get more it will stop…you trick yourself oh I will wean that will work…that’s that devil again in there wrapped into your mind…because remember you sold your soul. There is no easy way out of this is there? You’re going to try to find one aren’t you. You want it to go away the way it came…easily, but it’s not going anywhere so easily…it’s there inside you and has every intention to staying. Oh what you would give to have known this before your first use, what you would give to go back in time. Hopelessness sets in.

The turning continues

The war continues inside you, turning like violent seas. This devil has it’s choke hold on your thoughts. Poisoning them all with with lies, making you see differently than the truth. From the outside looking in this is denial and refusal for help. If only they knew what you were truly going through inside, if for a moment they could live there, maybe then they could help you…because god do you need and want help right now. You’re fighting yourself, you’re drowning in this, you’re losing. Where do you turn? All the things you have fucked up during this addiction. The people you have hurt, the bad decisions you have made financially, or the strangers you have hurt for your satisfying this devil inside you, all of this floods into your mind. It’s a huge mountain isn’t it? How can you even begin to fix all this mess when you can not even fix you? You don’t want to hurt anyone anymore so you close up and distance yourself thinking you’re helping the people you love because you’re a failure right? I mean you see what the world thinks about you they post it everyday. The best thing you can do is get far away. Now you are lonely aren’t you? Depressed and sad, an outcast of your own will. How can you face this? You just can’t.

Friends

Ahhh finally! Some friends that don’t judge you! They understand they are going through this too. You don’t have to be lonely do you? You are using and more now with them. Your whole focus becomes getting the next one. It’s all you and your friends do isn’t it? Next licl next lick omg down to one where are they? Someone has to have them. Dammit you can’t get sick. The fighting starts someone is missing some all of a sudden…are they really though? They have all done this before and lied before. God just please find something anything to make this all stop. Finally a call! It’s not what you wanted but if you get it you won’t get sick. So you say yes. Oh dear Lord you don’t realize where this goes and again you sold your soul. It’s stronger you need less. You think wow this works better, I could do this and not kill myself eating so many and get a normal life again. It’s different, so I can avoid withdrawal from the other and then stop this after. Boy are you wrong and you find this out very quickly don’t you. You’re an addict you can’t just use one to stop the other can you? God you think where is the end to this hell? You remember your old life. You think of your memories and feel hopeless. How can you ever be that person again? What have you done to yourself. You think of all you have done what you are doing now, it’s getting worse isn’t it. This is your moment you’re so hurt inside at yourself. This is the moment when you decide to go back or forever be lonely and eventually kill yourself from overdose.

Fixing things

You search for help, you find quickly there are not many resources for the broke. This can be a breaking point for an addict many have turned back due to this. But not you not this story you keep going you find a place willing to help they seem nice. You go in you tell the truth about everything. They say they can help you and smile they tell you it’s all okay. They explain their treatment and it sounds great! You won’t feel a thing! They have a medicine just for you, two and you can choose which one. You don’t have to stay there you can go home to your family and tell them the great news you are doing it! You made the step! You go in every morning, but there are lines such long lines shuffling people in and out. It’s embarrassing and heartbreaking all at once, but you’re going to do this aren’t you? You found the easy way didn’t you to make it all okay…to get your soul back?

Another turning point

The days pass and you’re still in line for each one of them. Getting your miracle medicine….or so you thought. It doesn’t end the days turn into weeks and months. You can’t live without it. You realize you have been preyed on and your weakness is their profit. Trust is gone again. Hope is lost again. You’re still an addict nothing changed did it? If you can’t even get help from those that claim to help you then what can you do? Who can you trust? Your world becomes so dark again. You lie at night awake and troubled. Your mind racing, you want out but how? You research anything and everything about getting clean. Every remedy every person’s testimony. Then you read about what you’re taking, what the devils in an angel disguise told you would help you. You become terrified, who wouldn’t be at this point. How will you ever escape this? How will you even survive this?

The jump

All your failures, all your attempts to do right that have blown up, you realize there is no easy way at all you have tried it all, every remedy every theory has been tested and failed. Now you are so far in with this clinic there is only one way out isn’t there? It’s scary isn’t it. Terrifying in ways many can never understand. You have to jump. This is your moment and it will take everything it has in you to do it. So you jump. You hide and hole up away from the world. They can’t be part of this. It’s the only way to remain strong through this nightmare that’s coming. Day one is slow moving and you don’t have energy like you did. But it’s not too bad, if only it could stay like this. You hope of course. Day two is worse you didn’t sleep much and your body hurts, it’s cramping and aching and you want nothing more than to sleep. If only you could sleep through it all. Day three you still haven’t slept have you? Ugh two days of no sleep. It can play tricks on the mind. Crazy thoughts enter your mind and you’re restless but tired. Here comes the mental war…are you ready? No. No one is ever ready for something like this. The pain in your body is unimaginable there is no position that is comfortable. You have every symptom of the flu in its most extreme setting in. Dilated eyes and the light hurts. Does this get worse? Day four it does get worse you still have not slept maybe two hours if you’re lucky. Why are you doing this to yourself? You are cold without a blanket freezing like in the snow…you cover up. Shit it’s so hot with the blanket and you sweat. Bathroom run after bathroom run. Pain in places nothing can help it. But using would stop this all wouldn’t it. You get consumed with your thoughts of all you have done of staying strong but every single second you crave it like a vampire needs blood don’t you. Resist. You manage to resist. Day five the emotions set in because you still haven’t slept you can’t get comfortable, you hurt, you’re sick, you’re temperature is in no way able to be maintained. It’s hell pure complete hell. And it’s hard the urges are hard. You don’t want to move or talk because you’re terrified anything could break your strength. It’s so fragile right now isn’t it. Keep pushing. Don’t give up. It’s going to be so many days of this. But it’s gets better I promise. Each day passed of this is a day you never have to experience again. Remember that! Do not stop, do not go back. Don’t listen to the world. The strength it takes to overcome this no matter how it happened is a strength so many will never possess. You can do this and you will do this. Remind yourself every single moment that you are on the other side of this…the you that you miss so much. The enjoying of life and laughter is on the other side of this. Don’t give that up. You made it this far and you have to keep pushing. It’s worth it. YOU ARE WORTH IT! The pain you feel now is the weakness leaving your body. This will be rewarding for you and each day will begin to get a little bit better. It isn’t going to get worse. I care about you even though I do not know you! I want you to succeed. Do not be a statistic anymore and save your life! Do not give up do not turn back, only look forward and at how far you have came! This is not easy at all it is brutal and it drains you, it is a hell on earth and it does not let go of you easily. You are strong and you will accomplish this and look back at this past and be proud! 

A VERY BAD DAY EVERYDAY

I want to discuss some topics here today. There are so many people that go through their days in such chaos and a bad mentality. I believe this often times directly correlates to violence and hatred envy and greed. Lets face it if we were happier we wouldn’t be seeing so much of this happening. If we were more uplifting to the stranger or our own people we would see a huge shift in actions and mentality.

So what is a bad day? Does a bad day actually exist? I don’t believe so. A persons phone dies mid day and they say oh this is a bad day. Or they lost 20 bucks or ran out of gas etc you get the point and you say this is a bad day, I am having a terrible day. Lets adopt a new mentality for this because you really aren’t having a bad day your day is a day it just isn’t one going exactly the way you want it too. So in ways you so easily gave up on a day that pushed you out of your comfort zone and could have then been quite a learning experience for yourself. Stop fighting it stop getting angry at it, let those days flow how they may and lead you where they may. When you fight against days like this you spend an entire day of your life angry. An entire day wasted instead of a day learned. Who knows where that day COULD have lead you if you would of allowed it too. There is no such thing as a bad day only a day that didn’t go according to plan.

Greed and envy. These things run our world right now they touch so many individuals hearts and live there day after day growing much like a bacteria in warm perfect conditions. A person goes through their day wanting this or that or a better this or that. Waiting in lines and fighting for jordans or the new flat screen, or black Friday etc. Why? Because you have accepted a widespread mentality that this is the way of life that you must be more than the next person and the way to be that is by what you have not how you act. This mentality is deadly. It is okay to step back and value the real things that matter in life you do not have to follow the crowd its okay to go your own way. At the end of everything it doesn’t matter what you had you live on through what you have done you live on in peoples hearts. The person you helped that gave them faith in the world again to help another. These are the things that you live on through. So what have you done in your life that will keep your name your  legacy alive?

The desire to find self satisfaction by hurting another. This is a big issue today it really is. Instead of facing pur own issues with ourselves we project them to others instead. We seek instant gratification by belittling another rather than focus on self healing and setting goals to be better in our own eyes. We get into mommy wars and talk crap about one another instead of uplift one another cause lets face it its hard being a mother and every child is different we don’t know the actual situation. Be more uplifting help reinforce tell the mother you know it’s a tough scary job and help it takes a village guys. We have forgotten that. We have women who have no true self esteem and we now glorify the side chick. But the side chick has issues guys and we as a people should help them love themselves because someone w who feels special to hurt others so deeply has serious internal issues going on. The people that feel better by belittling others have more going on inside they need people the most.

This boils down to being ugly and selfish inside. We walk past a stranger we can see is sad but we could stop and compliment something about them even if we do not like anything just because it will make them smile. Who does that hurt really? No one at all. Stop allowing your hearts to be polluted there is nothing wrong with helping the next person. You are not better than anyone else your life choices are only different and got different results. Nobody wakes up and says hey I wanna fuck my life up and be terrible so when you apply that to your everyday you realize these people didn’t intentionally get themselves there. They may not have had anyone encouraging around or maybe they thought that was a good decision to get them what everyone else had and it backfired and the blows kept coming. Who knows really. But the lack of humanity today only makes things worse and worse. You don’t have to agree with people’s personal beliefs but you can open your mind to understand the logic on their end and then better be able to understand the perspectives of the opposition to better help the situations at hand. Meeting anger and hurt with anger never results in any type of solutions.

The President to Blame

This election has shown us a few things hasn’t it? One being we have so many angry people in this world. We blame the president for our problems in society, Obama is the cause of racial divide and prejudices from black people they say and Trump is the cause of white people openly being racist they say. How true is this really? It’s not true at all. These things existed before Obama before Trump long before. In fact we have never truly pushed the system in the right direction at all, we have sat idle comforted by placing the blame anywhere but ourselves. 

We are the reason for where our country is sitting and for many that is a very hard pill to swallow. People refuse to admit they are the problem, they refuse to look at themselves and say hey I have been part of these problems by either being hateful myself, or sitting idly and ignoring it as if it will resolve itself on its own one day. But lets be honest here the presidents aren’t the issue, we are. 

Things did not directly effect many of us, so we went along with our lives unbothered by the things others were going through. We made excuse after excuse didn’t we? From “Why should we fix the laws? Don’t break them and you wont have a problem.” “We should not kill unborn children, but don’t you dare ask for welfare.” “Why should my taxes I pay go to support people that do not work with tons of children?” “Don’t have kids if you cant take care of them, you know where babies come from so its simple do not open your legs.” I can go on and on with the hatred.

We have become complacent with putting others down and being hateful to one another. We have chosen to lose all self discipline for instant gratifications no matter how small instead of waiting for the long term fulfilling gratifications in life. As a result we are a society obsessed with sex, violence and greed. We no longer care for our neighbors instead we step on them to feel better about ourselves for a short term moment. We did this and we continue to do it to others, we justify the things we do saying well nobody would do it for me so why should I do it for anyone else? And we all sleep like a baby because we made sense to ourselves about the unkindness we spread like disease across this country. 

Now before Trump has even taking office we have condemned him , blaming him for all that is wrong with this country. He is already our new excuse for our problems. This is absurd we have no idea what he holds in store for this country. I myself was not a Trump supporter, but I also do not know what he holds for us as a nation and I personally refuse to condemn someone before even seeing what they are going to do. I will hold my judgment until I see actions personally. He will not be my new excuse to sit idle and hateful without action. We have got to stop this cycle, we have got to stop allowing our hearts to be so polluted and making excuses for spreading this ugly disease. 

We make the choice everyday to tear others down. We make the choice everyday to judge another. We make the choice everyday to hold hate to those we do not know and to be selfish in our own pursuits to happiness. We make the choice to follow suit with what is told to us to do. We make the choice to not be kind to others and uplift them and we make the choices to allow our systems to be so corrupted. To those that do these things you will NEVER be satisfied in life. 

We can keep blaming presidents and get no where or we can do better. Why must people involve themselves in others personal beliefs and choices it is not your place to control free will.  Why do we condemn each other and judge when no one is hurt in the process? We have bigger issues at hand in todays world. Why must we hold hatred for skin colors saying well they are doing it. No. You allowed your heart to be polluted that is no one’s fault but you own! You can not control others actions you can only control your reactions. America YOU are the problem not the president not the police they are only a direct reflection of your hearts. You have created a monster system and a hateful world its time to acknowledge this and decide now to love one another and be uplifting and help each other. Love spreads like hatred does. Choose to be kind over mean. It is weakness today of the mind. We hold no control of ourselves to allow anger and retaliations and being unkind is easier than being patient and loving and uplifting. We have shown how weak we truly are. Its time we change these things and stop blaming the world for our problems.

A Proportional Response

A Proportional Response

Absolutely wonderful read and sheds light to a perspective on both sides in this article as well as comments. Absolutely a must for sharing and a must for reading.

Wine and Cheese (Doodles)

a-proportional-responseThere was an early episode of The West Wing in which the President had to choose a course of action after a deadly terrorist attack. Ready to unleash the full might of the US military, he was eventually persuaded to take a more measured approach. Why? Because while carpet bombing another country into oblivion may have made him feel better for a minute, it wasn’t going to achieve anything fruitful. It was going to lead to more unnecessary death and destruction.

He chose a proportional response.

The episode, and the title, stuck with me, so much so that we’ve adopted the phrase into our parenting lexicon. But lately I’ve been using the term to describe other things as well.

Each time the news of another police shooting crosses my line of vision, I see the same refrain.

Why didn’t he just comply?
Why didn’t he just do what the police said?
Maybe if he was raised better, he’d have been fine. I was raised…

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The Cyber Takeover

We get up for the day we check facebook or twitter or instagram and we get started into our cyber world. We see numerous pictures screaming for likes and shares, we clearly see the desperation for those in many of them. We see articles written with fear mongering in them, they create sadness or anger in our hearts. We turn on the news and see the same information pumped right to our brains and hearts.  We dive into our cyber worlds without a single thought behind any of it. We watch women degrade themselves further to be nothing more than sexual objects to be shared around the world. We watch the robberies and violence all over the world. We in a sense are forced into seeing so many tragedies. The cyber world has been a benefit to society in many ways forcing us to see what is happening in the world around  us that was once swept under the rug. This world allows us to bring attention to what we feel is important as well as keep us all connected in many aspects. Yet I feel there is a much darker side to this as well. Each day we are fed negative stories negative events negative images and over time I feel this programs us to see and focus on the negative. We over time discuss negative topics and what is not right or fair. On the job it is always what could be better not what is being done right. This begins to follow us everywhere we go. We are told what to like what products to buy regardless of where it came from or how it came to be on the shelves to buy. Instead of seeing a beautiful world we see all that is wrong with this world and the people in it. We have in a sense allowed our minds to become programmed with hatred and sadness and despair. As a result we see more violence, more theft, more outlandish behavior and reactions. We do not even stop to think how this  is coming to be, why we see a half empty glass instead of it being half full. Our perspectives are altered through this constant feeding of negativity daily through our televisions nd phones and computers. They claim they are after ratings and it is a direct correlation o what we choose. But is that truly so? Would we honestly choose to have violence and despair over love and unity in life? I do not think so. I think all of us would choose a life of happiness over a life of despair. I do not see options for choices on the mainstream anywhere. Now our tv programming is much the same with VIOLENT and embarrassing reality shows addiction shows just programming  after programming  of the worst of the human race. We can choose to flood the cyber world with loving quotes, pictures of kind deeds and beautiful things we see. We can break free of this programming and dare to be different. we can change the channel to the ugliness and they will begin to follow suit. We can be the changes we need. Open our hearts again and stop letting one toxic person forever pollute our hearts. We can do nice things for people small things that make a difference. The grumpy man in line for coffee gets to the counter and its mysteriously paid for. The lady buying wipes counting change ends up with a whole box unkowingly. The neighbor you see struggling to feed themselves comes home to a box of food on the doorstep no note no way to know who did this. The key is to not judge not decide to have a polluted heart and decide instead to make someone smile. To not let them know who did it so you also get no recognition to feed the ego. Help humanity live and love again. give compliments to those strangers about their hair or tie or shoes. Those kind words could save someone for an entire lifetime! Let yourselves care again, yes with caring there will be times of hurt and pain but you only have lost your humanity when you allow it to forever pollute your heart and prevent you from giving to any other human being.